stupid grey's
I just finished watching the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy. The episode ends with one of the doctors being discharged home with her new baby girl after a long stay in the NICU.
Reduced me to a blubbering mess of tears and longing. In an instant, I felt a couple of things:
1. Clearly remembering being discharged from the NICU after Dillan was born and what a relief it was to be headed home. (Yes - our first born had his own lightening bolt strike him - read about it here)
2. Felt how badly and how deeply I long to hold Maddie in my arms and to know that she is going to be ok. Not just pray for it. Not just have everyone and their mother (literally at times) telling me so. But to have proof positive that shes ok.
3. How scared I am that I may never leave the hospital with Maddie and the impossibility having to go on with life without her.
Stupid Grey's....i've been working so hard to keep these things bottled up.
I don't even watch Grey's and I know what you mean. I happened to stop on an episode while flipping channels right before Garrett was born with that baby when it first got to the NICU. Yep, cried my eyes out and I didn't even know what was going on.
ReplyDeleteI have felt the same feelings you describe in this post. I still sit here everyday in Garrett's room hoping for the day I can hold him.
I pray you get to hold Maddie. She is lucky to have a mother that cares as much as you,
Janna
www.ourcdhstory.blogspot.com