A friend's reflection

My best friend from high school sent this to a group of HS friends who have been very supportive of the last months.  I think it is worth sharing for those of you who couldn't be at her funeral.
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I drove up late Thursday night and pulled into town around 2am. 

Lisa, Luke and their adorable little boy Dillon were up by 8am and I got to spend a lot of time talking with the family.  They were surrounded by friends and family for the entire day and I know it helped them all.  Lisa, being such a social soul, was happy to have friends around to talk to.  Her brother, sister, parents, in-laws, new-born nephew, friends from church and myself were all present to keep her spirits up.

For those of you who haven't had the privilege of meeting Luke, he is great guy who seems to prefer private walks on the beach to clear his head and gather his thoughts.  It was amazing to see them both cope with this horrible loss in their own way, while also being so supportive of each other.

The service was possibly the saddest event I have attended in my life.  Pink carnations and pictures of beautiful little Maddie surrounded the tiny casket.  The service lasted about 30 minutes.

Lisa spoke for about 15 minutes about the short life of her daughter Maddie.  Although she was in immeasurable pain, she did make several references to the emotional and spiritual support her and Luke had received from their family and friends, and from God. 

Lisa, being the practical gal she always has been, is already reading a book on the difficulties of losing a child.  To Lisa, the most important part of moving forward is not forgetting the past.  "It would be easy", she said, "to compartmentalize these last few months, forget the pain and act as though this never happen." She asked us to never stop mentioning Maddie and to never feel uncomfortable about talking openly about the short time her daughter had on this earth.

I like to think I'm a pretty tough guy... but I was brought to tears on several occasions during the service.  When Rusty, Lisa's brother, read a poem and played The Beatles 'Let it Be', I couldn't stop sobbing.

After the service, we moved to Lisa & Luke's long time Church where the evening was spent with family and friends.  As much as it possibly could be, it was an uplifting environment where dinner was served by Church Volunteers.

As I said goodbye to Lisa and Luke and headed home, it was obvious to me that the healing process had already begun.  Lisa, Luke and Dillon are surrounded by an amazing network of friends and family who are going to help them get through these difficult times.  I also know their close relationship with god is helping them through this difficult time.

Thank you again for helping to support the Spence family.